I just watched the movie Fight Club and realized that the movie is somewhere deep in my subconsciousness. Or the affect of seeing this particular film at a certain age, 16 at the time, is irreversible.
I won´t argue that the movie doesn´t use some shallow methods at times and represent a flawed view of the world. It is Ok for a movie to do that to a certain point. And I am not saying that is so "deep" or so "cool". There are many movies that include heavier substance than this movie.
But I remember the night I saw the film. For some reason I had nothing to do on a friday night. I asked my dad to drop me off to a movie theater located in Kotkansaari, about 9 km from where I live. When our car stopped in front of the theater, the door man was just opening the doors and watched me get off the car in my leather jacket and long scarf. When I walked inside to the empty lobby, the doorman (who also sold tickets) said " Was that your dad outside? Yes? Well, then I can let you in. This movie is not for people under 18". At the time I was irritated by the fact that he did not take me for a 18 year old. Not even with my leather jacket!
There was something like 4 people in the theater. The movie had been shown something like 2 weeks or so..When the movie began, and the scene with Norton against the tits of Bob was on the screen, I remember thinking "what the fuck is this..?" And after that I was in a state of muddled confusion right to the point when Tyler leaves and the ending starts to reveal. I wasn´t excited about the film, like "OMG fucking great movie!" It was more like a quiet enthusiasm and feeling that I just saw something I had not seen before.
This was the time when I started to really see movies, not just watch them. Time when I started to get interested in different kinds of films. Same time I tried to watch Le Mempris for about 7 times and never understood it. This was the time, when ( I´m ashamed to say) my consciousness was opening and possibly expanding, at least in terms of film and the world of cinema. So although I´ve never really considered this to be a film that is really important to me, it is one of them that really left a mark.
Weakest thing, possibly quite fatal thing in Fight Club is that biggest movie stars of our time with great muscles and looks talk about things like "self improvement is masturbation" and "not everyone will be movie stars and rock gods".. and so on. They represent the thing this movie is against. Or atleast tries to be. So this is the frustrating double-dealing point of this movie. But if we look past this, we can see a quite good package of visual storytelling and ideas about the world and the lifestyle going on in the late 90´s and feel the excitement and energy of the movie.
Interesting point is that when "the narrator" starts realizing that his life is not what he wants and tries to change it, he goes insane ( or meets Tyler). Like one must go insane to act like he feels like... The lead character never gets any help to his insanity, but works it all out himself. So this is a story how to over come schizophrenia. And how this one messed up guy becomes an icon for hundreds of people. Unwillingly. And how his mental illness just toys whit these people.
Scenes like where one guy tells tales about the "mysterious and great Tyler Durden" How he sleeps only 1 hour a night and was born in a mental institution, tell us something about the absurd grip of this story. And when one of the Tylers gang members says "when he said ´you are not your job!´ I was like; FUCK YEAH!". Viewer can easily understand that the makers are not so serious about this revolution..
I remember that somebody criticized the film about being fascistic. That might be, but that is also part of the attraction. At least for me. I´m not saying that I would like to live in a Tyler Durden- house. But in a way FightClub deals with freedom and finding alternatives to the way of living in our society. Oddly these kind of explorations often lead to situations that are easily interpreted as fascistic. If freedom is organized it ceases to be what it originally was.
And even if I don´t live like the guys in the films, I still have something in me that resonates with lines like these (even though they might be a bit corny) :
"Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may."
"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. "
"You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? "
" Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!"
" First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die. "
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